Life after Break-up

What do men go through after a break-up?

 

MOVING ON: It’s tough for men to overcome a break-up

 but that’s the only way out

ASK a man what he goes through after a break-up, and you can expect a casual ‘nothing, we just moved on. There are so many out there!’ A little probing and a few questions later you come to know that the story is some what different. The world just talks about how a woman feels: Her sorrows, emotions, anger, jealousy etc. But does that mean that it's all about ‘Venus’ and the ones who have hailed from ‘Mars’ don’t have any feelings at all? Prateik Soni, who’s brother recently had to deal with a tough break-up says, “I’ve started hating girls because of Pradeep’s ex. He has become very quiet after the break-up and has just buried himself in his work. For him, today it’s all about being busy. He is also spending more time than usual at the gym constantly thinking about something. That’s bad and even the trainers have said so. But he doesn’t talk to us about his problems. He has suddenly become an introvert. I don't think he will ever get into another relationship again.” Break-ups are not as easy as they sound for men. Men don’t cry and may be that’s why it's difficult for them to handle break-ups.
Expressing it or sharing it with friends is something that they cannot do easily. Hence, depression, mood swings, irritability, isolating oneself are the signs that follow post a break-up. Mrunal Chaturvedi, who broke-up after a twoyear relationship shares, “Being a guy, it gets tough for us to express our emotions. We might not even react to a break- up or when we are cheated by our partner. As a result, people tend to believe we don't have feelings. But it's tough for us to deal with break-ups because we can't cry or, like girls, share the pain with friends.” To cope with a failed relationship is tough. Especially when you have given it your time, nurtured it, and built dreams around it. Ankit Pandey explains, “After a heart break you are hurt and confused. There were times when I questioned my identity and self worth. I tried to figure out if there was some fault at my end too. I took some time but I have now moved on.”Because it’s tough for men to express and share their feelings, they keep them bottled up inside. “After a long period of love and cherished moments, it’s a little tough to cope up with the fact that she has gone away, never to come back. And it's more so when the girl ditches you,” tells IT professional Amit Mishra. But in times like these it’s important that you do not divert from your routine life. You should meet your friends and go out with your family, as there is no point brooding over things. What is important is to accept the fact that she is no longer a part of your life and what has happened has happened. As Psychologist Ragini Varma says, “Though there are some men who genuinely can't get over a break-up and fall into another one soon, for others it's just a matter of time. Being humans, if they can get their self- confidence back with the help of their friends, they get into another relationship too.”
Though we cannot change what’s happened already but friends and family can help the person figure out the reason behind the failure of their relationship. A break-up should be a learning experience so that, if possible, it can be worked on. If possible try to be friends with her or just try to move on. As they say, tough times don’t last but tough people do!