How can you deal with a friend who is jealous of you? PT finds out
 |
THE GREEN SIGNAL: Communication is the key to handling a jealous friend
|
YOU purchase a designer dress with your first pay cheque and are super excited. You show it to your best friend expecting a pat on the shoulder and instead, get a ‘thanda’ response. If you have faced such a situation, then there’s a good possibility that your friend is jealous.
Many times we see someone close to us cooling off on hearing about a positive development in our life. If the situation aggravates, it’s best to cut all ties. Something that advertising professional Mehul Thakkar did. “It’s difficult to be friends with someone who is jealous of you. Imagine spending time with someone who does not like the fact that you are happy, popular or successful.” But cutting ties is not a good option always. Jealousy is a natural instinct, and it does not mean that the person hates you or desires ill for you. Psychologist Swapnil Desai explains, “It’s natural for humans to desire happiness. When they don’t get what they want, they feel disheartened. When they see someone else doing well, even if it’s their friend, they feel worse. This makes them jealous.”
The feeling of jealousy develops at an early age. So handling it could be difficult. But if you want your friendship to survive, then you need to work on it. Consultant psychiatrist, Nidhi Jain, says, “A child craves for the latest toy. When he sees someone else with a new one, he feels jealous. For a teenager, popularity at school or looking pretty could be reasons of feeling jealous. The same continues into adulthood, and throughout our lives. We must learn to identify jealous behaviour and handle the negative feelings.” Working on your self-esteem can really help you get out of that phase. Communication professional Anjita Chaube, says, “If I had a friend who was jealous, I would advise her to work on her selfconfidence. It’s easy to become jealous of people if you aren’t happy with yourself. Communication is the key.”
Jealousy is not always negative. If taken positively, it could be a ‘green signal’ for your progress. For Amrita Shiba, IT professional, the feeling helped her climb up the ladder of success. “My friend and I worked in the same organisation. She was quite popular at office, and always garnered praises during weekly meetings. One day, my boss called her and gave her a promotion. I should have been happy for her, but I wasn’t. At first, I was frustrated. Then I decided to work it out. I accepted my flaws, and worked on them. It’s only when you are insecure that you tend to feel jealous. Today we are the best buddies,” she smiles.
Many times we see someone close to us cooling off on hearing about a positive development in our life. If the situation aggravates, it’s best to cut all ties. Something that advertising professional Mehul Thakkar did. “It’s difficult to be friends with someone who is jealous of you. Imagine spending time with someone who does not like the fact that you are happy, popular or successful.” But cutting ties is not a good option always. Jealousy is a natural instinct, and it does not mean that the person hates you or desires ill for you. Psychologist Swapnil Desai explains, “It’s natural for humans to desire happiness. When they don’t get what they want, they feel disheartened. When they see someone else doing well, even if it’s their friend, they feel worse. This makes them jealous.”
The feeling of jealousy develops at an early age. So handling it could be difficult. But if you want your friendship to survive, then you need to work on it. Consultant psychiatrist, Nidhi Jain, says, “A child craves for the latest toy. When he sees someone else with a new one, he feels jealous. For a teenager, popularity at school or looking pretty could be reasons of feeling jealous. The same continues into adulthood, and throughout our lives. We must learn to identify jealous behaviour and handle the negative feelings.” Working on your self-esteem can really help you get out of that phase. Communication professional Anjita Chaube, says, “If I had a friend who was jealous, I would advise her to work on her selfconfidence. It’s easy to become jealous of people if you aren’t happy with yourself. Communication is the key.”
Jealousy is not always negative. If taken positively, it could be a ‘green signal’ for your progress. For Amrita Shiba, IT professional, the feeling helped her climb up the ladder of success. “My friend and I worked in the same organisation. She was quite popular at office, and always garnered praises during weekly meetings. One day, my boss called her and gave her a promotion. I should have been happy for her, but I wasn’t. At first, I was frustrated. Then I decided to work it out. I accepted my flaws, and worked on them. It’s only when you are insecure that you tend to feel jealous. Today we are the best buddies,” she smiles.
It’s not easy to deal with a jealous friend. But till jealousy is within limits, all is well.
No comments:
Post a Comment