ARGUING FOR THE BETTER

SWEET NOTHINGS: Fights add sweetness to a relationship

as they help you understand the importance of each other better

The odd tiff with your partner can actually strengthen your relationship.

IMAGINE a relationship with your partner without fights. Imagine it filled with sweetness, 24x7 happiness and no complaints. Sounds quite boring right? Most of us might not even realise the importance of those little fights and arguments, but many believe that they can actually make a relationship stronger in many ways. Florist Meha Pathak says, “I like it when my husband and I fight. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not the fight that I enjoy, but the after-fight rituals where he comes to resolve and make up for the fight. That’s the time when I love to throw some attitude. He knows it too. So he does everything that would make me feel special and loved. It brings us closer.” Nisha Mehra, an advertising professional, remembers the first time she and her boyfriend had a fight in their eight-monthlong relationship. “He is not very expressive when it comes to sharing his feelings. But, the first time he gave words to his feelings was when he tried to reconcile. Then we got talking, chalked down our areas of problems and things are so much better now.”

Life would definitely be colourless sans the usual cribbing about shoes not kept in place or food being served too cold, or the (clichéd) wet towel left on the bed. These little nothings add sweetness to a relationship because only when you have actually weathered a storm together do you understand the importance of each other more. When Falguni Sharma, a working professional fought with her fiancée for the first time and didn’t talk to him for a few days, she understood his worth. “The fight was for a trivial reason. But the innate romantic in him surfaced after that and I got loads of gifts and flowers. From my end, I realised how to handle his mood swings and him. I understood that I couldn’t afford to lose him.”

Yes, fights help you to understand your partner better. But counsellor Anita Bhatt feels that a line needs to be drawn. She adds, “When you are angry, you tend to give way to your inner thoughts and feelings. You come to know what your partner is expecting from you and where you need to develop. If you know where to draw the line and make up for those bitter moments, fights help create a better understanding.” Engineer Rahul Gupta confesses, “When my girlfriend and I have a fight, things become very awkward. I totally ignore her during that time. But she, being the more patient one, sends sweet SMSes, and makes my favourite dish to bring my smile back. These things just make me realise how lucky I am.”

It is said that ‘a little fight as a spice in a dish is required to make things palatable. But it should not be too spicy.’ We agree.