Before the vows

What is the significance of the courtship period before two individuals finally marry?

ROMANCE begins with courtship, and ends with marriage,” says Ritu Bhatt, a businesswoman. Is she being serious? Oh, not at all, she is obviously kidding. But there is one thing that Ritu believes in. Happily married for four years, she is convinced that the courtship period has been a very important part of her life. She says, “The days of courtship brings smiles and pleasant memories. From flowers and cards to dating and long drives, these days are a boon to the relationship. As we were from two different cities, I remember being with him on the phone 24/7. We never ran short of topics to talk about. And the best gift to each other was a surprise visit.” The courtship period becomes even important when the marriage is an arranged one and two unknown people need to know each other. Hari Krishna, a marketing professional recalls, “Shweta and I went through an arranged marriage. We were complete strangers. From the initial days of hesitation before even starting a conversation to the days of pulling each other’s leg, it was a beautiful journey.” He adds, “It’s not all about romantic dates and flowers. Courtship period gave us the time to know each others likes, dislikes, habits, and behaviour. We also made it a point to tell each other about every family members. It’s important, especially for her, to know my parents and understand them. Discussing these things beforehand helped her adjust to the new environment and people very easily.”



FIX A DATE: Get to know your partner 

before you finally tie the knot

When you know each other and have been dating for a long time, how does it feel? Ashmita Marwa, a housewife, who recently got married to her long time boyfriend, says, “During the courtship period I made it a point to talk to him about his family, the rituals and daily routine. His mother has a really bad temper at times. Warning me in advance helped me understand her and adjust to her mood swings.” IT professional Janaki Sharma, who got married two years back, talks along similar lines, “Ours was a love marriage. While romance was in the air, and happiness surrounded us, it was important for us to familiarise with each others’ lifestyle. With the entire family living in the same city, she had to adjust to the social meetings and function which happen quite often. After getting to know the family and my cousins in advance, she is now happy to meet them and spend time with them.”

Love and romance make life beautiful. But understanding each other is what makes the journey a pleasant one.